There have been multiple surveys conducted on new parents, especially stay-at-home mothers, and majority of them have reported feeling down ever since they became a parent. Similarly, studies conducted in the UK have also found that most new mothers, especially when they are single parent mothers reported feeling depressed. Perhaps one of our biggest faults as a society is forcing everyone to believe that children will always equate to happiness and fulfilment in life. While yes, children do tend to change our lives and do make us happy, that sense of happiness and fulfilment isn’t absolute.
Most mothers end up feeling guilty and do not talk about this out of shame because they feel they aren’t being good enough mothers and that is why they are depressed or unhappy. It is important to realize that you are more than a mother, and that you have a separate identity beyond that role, and it is okay to want more. Wanting to do a job, starting a business or just taking time out for yourself to do what you want does not make you a bad mother or person. A lot of mothers internalize these feelings of inadequacy and it ends up manifesting into something else later on.
So, being a mother does not mean you stop becoming yourself. Which is why it is important to separate your role as a mother and yourself as a person, you do not always have to be both. You can hire a babysitter, a nanny or just drop your child at one of the many daycares in Toronto and can then take that time to work, relax or reflect on yourself. If anything this will only strengthen your relationship with your child later on since you will have more emotional stamina to manage them later on.